More Recent Hilarity

Ivan collected all the boys, all being 5, in a huddle where they all put in their hands and began to huff like athletes do to pump themselves up, then after about 20 huffs the broke the huddle, while yelling, "Wildcats!". He is something else. Ivan also rallies the boys to to a call and answer bit from High School Musical, "What team is this?!" and then the boys are supposed to say, "Wildcats!". It's starting to catch on, thankfully.

Breathing has also become a serious notification in the last week or two. One of my little friends, Tara, excitedly tells me at various points during the day that she is in fact, breathing. After the prayer, definitely after PE, after rest, during lunch or story. It's a big deal to continue to breath during these many activities we do. :)

Today's hilarity:
 "Redcoats, Redcoats!" Two of the girls yelled as the ran around the playground. First, how did they know that those words should be yelled with a tone of alarm? Second, supposing they aren't history buffs, how did they come up with redcoats and pair it with fear?

The daily serenades of Justin "Beaver" continues, and while no one has learned another song aside from "Baby", singing the same line over and over and over still entertains me. I've asked our main "Beaver" fan, Ivan, if he could sing me a new tune, but he refused, as he was brushing his sweaty hair to the side, like his favorite pop icon.

This morning's snack time was dominated by knock-knock jokes--the made up kind. Not the classic "orange you glad I didn't say banana"... After about 10 "histerical" jokes (oh, yes, I played the part of the cracked up teacher for all 10. Knee slapping included.), I decided to throw them for a loop. When asked, "Knock, knock?", I happily replied, "Come in!", or "Hi, Ivan!". It unfortunately only won me a blank stare for a split second before they continued on with their joking. I thought I was being clever...they'll catch up someday.

Recent hilarity:
Our Spring Music program was last week. The kids sang 3 songs, which all included some kinds of motions. Let me be the first to say, these kids are gamers. Most of them would slump around and stand perfectly still, no motions, no singing during our many music classes and rehearsals.  However, 7pm last Thursday, hips were swirling (although that face was stony), hand were put into pants, noses were picked, and dust particles caught. They sang their songs, mostly, and did a great job! If only I could post pictures... ha

It has come to my attention, and I shouldn't be too surprised, that these students do not know my last name. But asking them what my last name is turned a dreary morning, sunny. Basically, they just inserted their own last name. I now belong to about 12 different families, not including my own.

Today's sincerity:
I was told by one of the boys today, that I was his sister in Christ. Now if that isn't just the most precious thing to be told, I don't know what else is!

A New Year, more funnies

A welcome back summary of events is due.

An immediately noticeable Christmas break effect was the use of the words, "oh, poop", from 'Despicable Me'. While I thoroughly enjoy that movie, you just aren't allowed to say "oh, poop" at school, no matter how cute and funny it is. Sorry.

For our Bible lesson's for the month/unit, we are learning about the full armor of God. My favorite piece of armor is most definitely the 'belt of truth'. It has come in quite handy. Little do those poor kids realize, it is a great tool to resolve conflict, and the more they remember from our armor discussions, the less they want to answer my questions. ha When the kids come up to me, tattling, I make them put on their belt of truth, literally. Then, the kids figure out maybe this is not what they were hoping for when they sought out my assistance. So far, the truth has managed to come out.

Also, a bit of knowledge I have gleaned from our Bible time, is that the devil says stupid, and sometimes stupid words. He is a bad, bad guy, that devil, saying stupid. (I wish they could be so appalled at his stupid words forever.)

Yesterday was a snow day, so of course the kids wanted to play out in the snow for recess. One of our twins, Kevin, told the class that "we will play in the snow, and we will laugh!" Easy for him to say, he laughs all the time. He was so insistent we played in the snow.

While on potty patrol, my former broken legged girl told me that when she is done being in Mrs. Penny's class, she will go to 6th grade. Way to go, kid! She also refuses to accept that she will have another birthday between now and Christmas. She said she'd ask her dad... I've said it once, and I'm sure I'll say it a million times, they don't think I'm too smart.

Welcome Back!

In my anticipation for school to start after a week long Thanksgiving break, I expected little hilarity Monday, especially on such a rainy day. Much to my surprise, this group of kids surpassed my expectations with these little treasures.

I was taught a new song during potty patrol. I was standing just outside the doorway of the bathroom, when I hear this catchy little tune, (I will gladly sing it for anyone who requests a reenactment)
"I see your hiney,
 So bright and shiny.
 You better hide it,
 Before I bite it."
I walk in and see sweet Tess, pants down, bobbing around, watching her show in the mirror that is conveniently located on the wall opposite of the toilet. Immediately, I asked her, "Tess, will you please teach me that song?!" Obviously, my wish was granted. After school that afternoon, I told Tess to tell her dad what song she taught me. She whispered what song she had sung, to which he replied, "We are famous for all the wrong reasons."

And, while that story has enough funny to stand on it's own it didn't stop there. I learned, from Ivan, that 'Silent Night' is about a flag that goes around. The girl set of twins told me that their Mom is Christmas now, or something relatively similar about their Mom now being Christmas somehow. It was on a much higher level of thinking than I'm used to. Tess has also begun to fret that Santa will not bring her anything, because her aunt gave her the Barbie that she was wanting; and even though she would like a pillow pet, Santa will not bring her one since she already got the Barbie. It is getting very dramatic! I have also heard so many references to making a Christmas list in the last 2 days, that I just quit keeping track of who said what. It will be December tomorrow. Tomorrow, and I've lost track of everyone's Christmas wishes. Ho ho ho.

Thanksgiving Feast

Happy Thanksgiving! (early)

Here are some things to get you in the mood for the holiday:

While reading a Thanksgiving story, Tess asked Mrs. Penny why the boy had polka dots on his face. He wasn't sick, he just had some freckles. ha

I asked one of the more creative minds how pumpkin pie is made. You need some sugar, carrots, salt, crust, and then mix it up. Voila! Pumpkin pie. I can almost taste it. :)

We had a black out pep rally this morning, where all the lights are out and the cheerleaders distributed glow sticks to all the kids. You would've thought it was Christmas. Shrieks of joy deafened our ears. One 1st grader behind me, blew up her glow stick from bending it too much. Glow juice was everywhere. My kids kept whacking each other in the head while cheering for the cheerleaders and football players. I had to discourage my broken-legged girl not to chew on her glow stick. She didn't think it would poison her, but then again, what do I know?

Great send off into Thanksgiving break. What a boring week a head for me...

Questions Answered

If you have ever wondered why your arm feels tired after a nap, Dr. Ivan has figured it out. It may be the result of too many doughnuts. Of course!

If you have ever wondered who can save the world, Ivan the conqueror has the solution. His Pawpaw, and Uncle Zackie have guns, so they can save the world. We are so lucky!

If you've wondered the most fun way to wake up a classroom of 3 and 4 year olds-- banging an empty coffee can drum and shaking a tambourine may be that. I was encouraged to try this method today. The result: giggles, smiles, and kids who sleep right through it. Amazing!

If you have ever wondered why the tip of a toothpick is red-ish after poking a blueberry-- it's bleeding.

Pilgrim Hats

We made pilgrim hats after rest, today. Ivan (I know) was struck by the beauty of one of the little girls, Maria. He told her she looked so pretty, and also said, "Maria, you just have to marry me.", as he followed her around the room. Upon hearing this, sweet Tess asked Karl (the one who calls me Miss Jedika) to marry her. Unfortunately, he declined her offer. "I don't want to marry you, Tess!" She took it well...she got distracted and forgot about her rejection in moments. Kids are so resilient.

As I have claimed before, the bathroom is where it is the funniest. The children involved will be remain nameless, you'll see why. When the kids woke up from rest time, one boy had had an accident, so I sent him into the bathroom to change. One little girl slipped in the bathroom to relieve herself. When I walk in the boy is pant-less, and the little girl is sitting on the toilet. Could be worse, right? I quickly block the girl from seeing "something", and get his extra clothes out...underwear first. Then I notice the small spot on the bottom of his shirt. Full wardrobe change. The boy whips his shirt off as I'm getting his pants unfolded, so he's just in his undies; the girl is ready to wash her hands but frozen on the stool, in curiosity. Standing on the stool gives her enough height to notice the pant-less boy. Thus the following question, as the boy's back is turned to her, "What is in the front?"
Boy: "Legs."
Girl: "Of your whole body..."
Boy: "Oh, you mean my race cars?" (the pattern of his underwear)
She was instructed to wash her hands the fastest she ever has in her short life, and I'm left wondering how she noticed his nudity around my body sitting on a stool, too. Tricky kids.

Brothers

Friday, our prayer warrior, Ivan, thanked God for his two new best friends. "And thank you God that Kevin and Kameron and me are best friends, now. In Jesus name, Amen". Precious! And, because his new best friends are twins, he told me this morning that he would also like a twin brother... bahaha Good luck, little friend!

Speaking of the twins, they have this sweet little habit of referring to each other as "your brother" when they talk about each other. So, if Kevin falls and Kameron comes to tell me, he would say, "Your 'brudah' fell.". Usually I ask, if my "brudah" did whatever they're telling me, and they go right along with it. It's like I've been made an honorary family member. :) Similarly, they tell each other, "Kevin, your daddy is here.". So, it extends to their parents, too. I chuckle every time they do that.

Ivan

Ivan has been quite the funny man lately. He's always got something worth posting, so why not dedicate a whole post to this kid?

I have been given permission by Ivan's mom to post this story.
Monday, all the way down the hall to chapel, Ivan was singing "Ima Be" by the Black Eyed Peas. Hilarious. One of the kids walking behind him asked why he was singing that song, which I'm sure this kid had no clue what song it was to begin with. Ivan explains he's singing the song because it's like his mom's name. It kind of does, because Ivan's last name begins with a 'B', too. So, when I tell Ivan's mom, she tells me the background. Ivan has heard a version of "Ima Be" made up by a few college students who call Ivan's mom Momma B. Hence, the song sounding like his mom's name. If you ask him to sing "Ima Be" to you, he'll gladly oblige you.

It has also come to my attention that Ivan is the secret boyfriend of several of the little girls in my class. He has no idea. The mom's of the little girls are starting to come clean about this Ivan love-fest. I mean, he is a really fun kid. He's funny, nice to everyone, can break-dance, and has been caught singing Justin Bieber tunes... What more could a girl ask for?! :)

He also knows how to wink, which I discovered yesterday, when I caught him winking at me. And he wasn't trying to joke anyone... You might say he was flirting a little. Ivan, you rascal.

Pocahontas

 Since it's now November, and we have a new theme in the classroom-- Thanksgiving, it seems somewhat appropriate to watch Pocahontas. That may have been a wrong assumption based off the reaction I witnessed this afternoon. During the part where Kocuom sneaks up on Pocahontas and John Smith and the scuffle ensues, then Kocuom gets shot...whew...I heard this little whimper directly behind me, basically in my ear, of one of the little girls. (in a whisper) "Oh no, he is dead. He is killed!". As she is whimpering about the dead Indian warrior, another little girl, Tess*, began to exclaim, "Oh dear! Pocahontas's necklace is......broken!" What extreme reactions! :)

Also during the movie, while watching Gov. Rattcliff was ranting about savages, another little girls says to me, "I think he should get a yellow card. He is not being kind." Of course there was a chorus of "He needs a yellow card!" from all the other kids. I think they're learning.

*Name changed

Boobies, Babies, and Bodies

It has been an inappropriate day at Harding Academy Pre-K. I started the morning by attempting to explain what boobies are for... My explanation was that they help feed babies when they are born, which then prompted the question, "Well, did you used to have a baby?"
Me: "No, I don't have a baby."
Boy: "But did you used to have one?"
Me: "No, I didn't used to have one."
Boy: "....oh." So what I get from that is that I'm not supposed to have boobs because I don't have a baby, since that's what they're for. Oh brother. 

Then, at recess, half of my class (one boy included in the count) were pregnant, aka put balls under their shirts and pretended they had "babies in their bellies". At random moments during play, they would birth the babies, and come running up to me to proudly show their baby/ball off. I asked each girl what kind of baby they had, meaning boy or girl. One girl had a purple one, another had a blue baby and another had an orange one. The little pregnant boy didn't really want to chat about his baby, but did tell me he had bad labor pains when I asked. Poor guy.

And to close the afternoon, as I was trying to wake up booby boy from rest, I look over in the direction of the bathroom to find a half naked child standing there attempting to get the entire class's attention. Thankfully, everyone was extra concentrated on their weaving project and didn't notice. I rushed over and whisked him back into the bathroom, as he laughed the whole way there and while I told him that he must pull his pants up before re-entering the classroom. Definitely avoided an interesting show and tell. Yikes!

What a day!!

A Day of Treasures

Some days are filled with many precious moments, and others nothing to write home about, however today was a GOOD day for silly quotes, so let's just cut to the chase...

"Mrs. Jess, you look good. You look good." Yes, said by a sweet little boy, after I shed my warm sweater, and adjusted my shirt. Apparently, I looked self-conscious. It's nice to know I have a friend...who is 3. :)

Future professions of one of my little girls: Mermaid. Another little girl wants to be a cheerleader when she's 10 and a princess when she's 20.

The kids were talking about age for some reason during lunch, so I asked how old they thought I am...the consensus: 45, maybe 43. They seemed to be more shocked when I told them I'm 23. Go figure.

A funny little conversation I overheard during center-time:
Boy 1: Well, you can't come to my birthday party.
Boy 2: That is not nice!
Boy 1: If you know, "God is bigger than the boogie man", then maybe you can...
Boy 2 sings all the words, as Boy 1 chimes in....with arms around each other, thus Boy 2 is invited to the birthday party, and me, too, because I hummed along.

And this last one is technically from yesterday, but too priceless to leave out. One of the little boys half-way wakes up early from rest time, looks around and then focuses on me. "Mrs. Jess....are there bugs on my bed? Are there bugs on my bed? Are there bugs on my cot?!" Said at an increasingly rapid pace and more worried each time. I assured him there were no bugs, and he proceed to ask if he could go to the bathroom once reassured. Bless his terrorized little heart!