Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Boobies, Babies, and Bodies

It has been an inappropriate day at Harding Academy Pre-K. I started the morning by attempting to explain what boobies are for... My explanation was that they help feed babies when they are born, which then prompted the question, "Well, did you used to have a baby?"
Me: "No, I don't have a baby."
Boy: "But did you used to have one?"
Me: "No, I didn't used to have one."
Boy: "....oh." So what I get from that is that I'm not supposed to have boobs because I don't have a baby, since that's what they're for. Oh brother. 

Then, at recess, half of my class (one boy included in the count) were pregnant, aka put balls under their shirts and pretended they had "babies in their bellies". At random moments during play, they would birth the babies, and come running up to me to proudly show their baby/ball off. I asked each girl what kind of baby they had, meaning boy or girl. One girl had a purple one, another had a blue baby and another had an orange one. The little pregnant boy didn't really want to chat about his baby, but did tell me he had bad labor pains when I asked. Poor guy.

And to close the afternoon, as I was trying to wake up booby boy from rest, I look over in the direction of the bathroom to find a half naked child standing there attempting to get the entire class's attention. Thankfully, everyone was extra concentrated on their weaving project and didn't notice. I rushed over and whisked him back into the bathroom, as he laughed the whole way there and while I told him that he must pull his pants up before re-entering the classroom. Definitely avoided an interesting show and tell. Yikes!

What a day!!

Sunday, October 24, 2010


In honor of the MIGHTY victory for the Missouri Tigers last night, I thought a little football story would be appropriate. After the kids wake up from rest, they do an activity at the tables, then play in a center until snack. My set of boy twins often gravitate to the plush football and play a game. One will be the snapper, the other will be the quarterback; the snapper says, "Putt, putt!", instead of "Hut, hut.". Then, they'll run around and try to fake each other out, then pass it, and "score" a touchdown. To which they cheer, "Touchdown Arkansas!" Their athletic abilities far surpass any other 3 year old I've ever encountered, so professional sports may very well be in their future...

These two sweet boys also say my name differently, as I discovered last week. I am Mrs. Khessica, with an emphasis on the 'i' sounding like 'eeeeeeeeeeee'. They also speak in a very high pitch when they need my immediate attention. Once at Wal-mart, I heard their little voices calling my name from across the check-out isles-- that's the best!

Sunday Special

In commemoration of the first day of the week, Sunday, I thought I would share a funny that happened in chapel a few weeks ago, which slipped my mind until today. I was holding one of the little girls, as our principal, Mr. Teague, was giving the devotional thought on verses pertaining to baptism. During his talk, he say something along the lines of being washed in the waters of baptism, to which my little friend whispers loudly in my ear, "I don't need to get baptized, I already had a bath this morning."

A second Sunday thought, one of the mom's told me Friday, that her little boy prays for me every night. That just fills my heart, and assures me that I really do have the best job in the world. :)

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Hidden Treasures

As I was rummaging through my purse this afternoon looking for my mom's key's, I found a folded post-it note with 2 funnies written on it. Happy Saturday!

Funny 1: Our bathroom is situated next to the sink/counter/cabinets/ mini-fridge in a nook to the back side of the classroom. One side of the refrigerator is adjacent to the bathroom door. While the kids wait for their turn to go to the bathroom, they have the option to play with the magnets. A magnet option is to mix and match the clothing and heads some cartoon bears. As one little girl, who is extremely dramatic, is always singing a song, or playing a make-believe game, was playing with the bear magnets. She turns to me and says, "These are naughty bear magnets. They are beary, beary naughty." And a small half smile creeps on her face. She totally knew she was making a joke. :)

Funny 2: This story involves ole Ivan. He runs up to me, panting and says, "I need a band-aid for my mouth because I blew out a stick and it's on fire now." Apparently, his stick was a torch, or candle, or firework, and he blew the fire out, therefore, his mouth was on fire. Of course, you may have a band-aid for that!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Early Halloween

Yesterday, in class, Mrs. Penny asked the kids what they were going to dress up as for Halloween. There were many Transformers, princesses, and cheerleaders; but there was one lone cricket! Hahaha I can't even remember which kid said that, although I do remember that it was a girl...weird.

Also on a bit of a Halloween note, one of my little girls, who I have mentioned before, Karly, needed some help putting her shoes and socks on, which is pretty normal after rest time. She always makes a comment about her feets not wanting to wake up. I told her to tell them to wake up, and she did. Before I share her comment, let me mention how sweetly she speaks to people. For example, one morning I overhear her telling her best friend in the class, "Girl! You rock! You're a rockstar!" Her face is extremely animated when she tells stories or anytime she's speaking. She wears darling outfits, and always a bow in her hair. I mean, this little girl is the epitome of "Sugar and spice and everything nice; that's what little girls are made of." So imagine my surprise when Karly wakes her feet up by saying, "Feets! Wake up!", in a growly monster voice, and then keeps talking to me that way. I was beside myself in laughter, to say the least!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


A lesson on why scissors in the wrong hands (almost literally) are dangerous.

Scenario 1: The task on hand is to cut out a cowboy hat. One little girl puts off the cutting task as long as possible. Does all the coloring, one can do, until I look over and there is red stuff all over her lip and chin crack. Inside, I am desperately hoping she taste-tested a marker, a red marker. I approach her and ask what is on her chin. She shrugs her shoulders and looks at me with huge, innocent eyes, but, I'm no fool. So, I ask if she cut her lip. Again, she denies it and I take a closer look at her lip. Sure enough, there is a small 'v' shaped cut, leaking blood. I escorted her to the bathroom to provide care for that silly little girl's poor lip, with a firm reminder that scissors are for cutting paper, not body parts (easy to confuse, I know).

Scenario 2: One of my more rambunctious boys likes to "trick" me that he's doing something he's not supposed to be doing. For instance, cutting his hand with his scissors. Now, does that spell out the rest of the story, or does it? He "tricked" one too many cuts and sliced the webbing between his thumb and forefinger pretty good. Which resulted in fearful eyes, brimming with tears. I think he shocked/ scared himself when he really cut himself. Needless to say, he doesn't trick me when there's a cutting activity. Mostly, I'm glad he didn't pretend to cut his neck.

Band-aid's all around!!


It's come to my attention that some clarification must be done, as a classroom romance has become a daily hot topic to eavesdrop. The classroom Casanova is a little guy named, Ivan*. His biggest admirer is a precious girl, Karly*. She has openly proclaimed her love for Ivan multiple times, calling him her boyfriend. She'll shoot him loving glances, and sigh while talking about him.

Things to a negative turn, as they had a spat during center time. Exact words weren't available, however the apology was overheard--sort of.
Ivan: Karly, I'm sorry. Can I still come to your birthday? I still like you.
Karly: Of course! It's ok, Ivan! (while patting him on the arm, very dramatically)

It has also been noticed that Ivan has been flirting with other girls.... the little sister (by a year-ish) of one of my other students, whom he very slyly sauntered up to and either tried to see how tall he was compared to her, or to kiss her. Either way, it was weird looking-- suspicious, to say the least. This little sister's dad, says to me, "I think it's about time I put my foot down." Can't make this stuff up.

*names changed

A Day of Treasures

Some days are filled with many precious moments, and others nothing to write home about, however today was a GOOD day for silly quotes, so let's just cut to the chase...

"Mrs. Jess, you look good. You look good." Yes, said by a sweet little boy, after I shed my warm sweater, and adjusted my shirt. Apparently, I looked self-conscious. It's nice to know I have a friend...who is 3. :)

Future professions of one of my little girls: Mermaid. Another little girl wants to be a cheerleader when she's 10 and a princess when she's 20.

The kids were talking about age for some reason during lunch, so I asked how old they thought I am...the consensus: 45, maybe 43. They seemed to be more shocked when I told them I'm 23. Go figure.

A funny little conversation I overheard during center-time:
Boy 1: Well, you can't come to my birthday party.
Boy 2: That is not nice!
Boy 1: If you know, "God is bigger than the boogie man", then maybe you can...
Boy 2 sings all the words, as Boy 1 chimes in....with arms around each other, thus Boy 2 is invited to the birthday party, and me, too, because I hummed along.

And this last one is technically from yesterday, but too priceless to leave out. One of the little boys half-way wakes up early from rest time, looks around and then focuses on me. "Mrs. Jess....are there bugs on my bed? Are there bugs on my bed? Are there bugs on my cot?!" Said at an increasingly rapid pace and more worried each time. I assured him there were no bugs, and he proceed to ask if he could go to the bathroom once reassured. Bless his terrorized little heart!

Thursday, October 14, 2010


Today, I was helping our poor, broken legged friend in the bathroom, which just means I help her balance in between pulling her pants up and down. Her bloomers got stuck on her cast because she insisted on pulling them all the way down, over her cast. (Ok, kid, do what you want.) So, being the kind teacher I am, I help her pull the bloomers up, and she exclaims, "Wait! My panties are giving me a wedgie!" (Imagine a high, little girl voice declaring her personal discomfort...)

This may not be the funniest comment that will ever be uttered in the classroom, or the most creative, what makes this more than just funny is, that one, she is a little girl. Second, I have tried the last 2 years, while working as an after school care provider at the Academy, to figure out when kids start learning about wedgies. My vast research based off of interviews I personally conducted, concluded that most kids between 3 and 5 have no clue what 'wedgies' are, and if they are familiar with the term, they don't know what it means or what action must be taken to give/have a wedgie. One child out of, at least, 60 that I interrogated knew how to explain wedgies to me, and it wasn't this little girl.

Name Variations

Most pre-school age kids have sweet little speech "quirks"...special ways of pronouncing things, especially names. We've got the normal swapping 'L', and, 'R' for 'W'; and lisps; trading 'L' for 'Y', and some that I just can't describe in technical speech jargon.

My name, Ms. Jessica: Ms. Checkika, Ms. Jedika, Ms. Jesseeka
The student teacher's name, Miss Bethany: Miss Betany, Miss Befany
One of the afternoon girls, Alyssa: Miss Alyzba
A little girl named Anna-Kate: Anna-Cake (She calls herself that, too)

These come from the same kid:
Fish: Bishy (you have to listen very closely to really hear it or else it sounds a little rude)
Ms Jessica: Miss Jedika
Football: Bootball(not boot, like the thing you wear on your foot, with long 'O' sounds, but say it as a rhyme to foot, with short 'O' sounds)
Octopus: there is no phonetic spelling to do this word justice

Monday, October 11, 2010

A Marriage Proposal

Center time allows for humorous eavesdropping, and in the math/ science center, too. Three of my older kids were playing in this center, two boys, one girl. The little girl, asks one of the little boys if he'd like to get married. He looks at her, totally straight-faced and seriously asks, "Well, are we having babies?" She inclined and their center time marriage commenced. Who knew such high stakes would be placed on this relationship by none other than the husband-to-be?

Interestingly enough, this one little boy is quite the fought over man. He is the coveted boyfriend of several little girls, one in our class, and a few more in the other two Pre-K classes. The one little girl in my class who has the world's biggest crush on this 4 year old Casanova, will call me over to chat about him all the time. Calling him her boyfriend, wanting to sit near him, and be in line near him, to play with him sometimes. Oh, she just adores him. And is so animated about her love for him. Precious moments!

Connecting the Dots

I have recently encountered a relationship that truly stumps my students. The kids have seen the pictures of my families that sit atop the cubbies. One of my immediate family, one of the in-laws, and one of my husband and me. I've explained a few times, after they've seen the picture of my husband and me, that I am married to that guy in the picture. They seem to understand that. Their own parents are married-- connection in their mind, we have rings on the same finger. Ok, connection made, or not... They alternate refer to my husband as my dad, or more recently, my son. Apparently, the connection isn't totally there, and understandably so. My marital relationship is missing one vital piece to complete the connection.....my own children that I have birthed. Apparently, I can't possibly be married without also being a mom. And so goes the dialog:
Student: "Mrs. Jess? Are you married?"
Me: "Yes."
Student: "Ok, so, are you a mom?"
Me: "No."
Student: "Do you want to be?"
Me: "Yes, someday, I do want to be a mom."
Student: "Why are you married, then?"
(this conversation,of course, took place in the bathroom, where else?)

On another occasion, I have gone in circles with one little guy about how I'm married, but don't have kids. He didn't get it either. This kid was pretty sharp. Surely, if I was married, I had kids. It didn't make sense any other way. I'm talking at least a 20 minute recess chat, which didn't end up in resolve. At one point, he sat on the playground bench beside me, crossed his leg over his opposite knee, elbow rested on the other knee, and his chin cupped in his hand thinking things over. Too funny!

Saturday, October 2, 2010


This week was Homecoming at Harding Academy. The high school dressed up all week, lots of fun activities, such as a bonfire on Wednesday night. Thursday afternoon, one of my little girls, drug me, and the afternoon girls, individually, to the fence on the playground to show us the burned circle from the bonfire. She exclaimed with shock that someone had mowed so fast that they burned a circle in the grass. So clever.