A New Year, more funnies

A welcome back summary of events is due.

An immediately noticeable Christmas break effect was the use of the words, "oh, poop", from 'Despicable Me'. While I thoroughly enjoy that movie, you just aren't allowed to say "oh, poop" at school, no matter how cute and funny it is. Sorry.

For our Bible lesson's for the month/unit, we are learning about the full armor of God. My favorite piece of armor is most definitely the 'belt of truth'. It has come in quite handy. Little do those poor kids realize, it is a great tool to resolve conflict, and the more they remember from our armor discussions, the less they want to answer my questions. ha When the kids come up to me, tattling, I make them put on their belt of truth, literally. Then, the kids figure out maybe this is not what they were hoping for when they sought out my assistance. So far, the truth has managed to come out.

Also, a bit of knowledge I have gleaned from our Bible time, is that the devil says stupid, and sometimes stupid words. He is a bad, bad guy, that devil, saying stupid. (I wish they could be so appalled at his stupid words forever.)

Yesterday was a snow day, so of course the kids wanted to play out in the snow for recess. One of our twins, Kevin, told the class that "we will play in the snow, and we will laugh!" Easy for him to say, he laughs all the time. He was so insistent we played in the snow.

While on potty patrol, my former broken legged girl told me that when she is done being in Mrs. Penny's class, she will go to 6th grade. Way to go, kid! She also refuses to accept that she will have another birthday between now and Christmas. She said she'd ask her dad... I've said it once, and I'm sure I'll say it a million times, they don't think I'm too smart.

New Years Shopping

Tonight, as I strolled the isles at Target looking at all the cute home decor, I heard a small voice calling for his mom. This boy wans't lost, just playing hide and seek, don't be alarmed. After searching for a few isles (he's walking towards me), I think he started to get at little fearful because he called out to his mom, "Ok. I'm going to use my sense of smell to find you now!" Priceless, and what do you know? It worked.

Who is a Dad?

In the recent weeks, it has come to my attention that there is a serious relationship barrier for the vast majority of the kids in my class. I was given a very artfully crafted paper with the instructions to give it to my dad, which I of course did. As I was presenting this piece of treasure to my actual dad, he posed the question, "Did this little boy mean for me to give his work of art to my husband, Josh?" When given the artwork, I did ask a carefully thought out clarifying question to determine whether my dad, or my husband was to receive the gift. Response: my dad. Then, today, the same little boy gifted another piece of his art to Tess's dad, and since she is only 4, there was no question who the recipient would be. So, I decided to do a little more investigating. During lunch, I grabbed my family photo, and asked the kids to point to which guy in the picture was my dad. I'd guess 85% of the kids pointed to Josh, my husband. The kids who waited to answer picked up that maybe he wasn't really my dad and pointed to my real one. Maybe they're just better at distinguishing age...who knows. I tried to explain the difference between my dad, who raised me, and Josh, my husband that I am married to, except I didn't mention the word marriage or married because the really don't get it even more than dad's and husbands.

The difference is: My dad helped me grow up from a little girl to a big girl. My husband is my very best friend that I didn't meet until I was big, and now we're in love, and I wear rings on my finger to show that we love each other. Their complacent stares assured me that I had made little progress. They're hung up on me not living with my mom, so of course the guy I do live with, is my dad, and the me not having kids thing contributes a little to this mix up, too, I think.

Welcome Back!

In my anticipation for school to start after a week long Thanksgiving break, I expected little hilarity Monday, especially on such a rainy day. Much to my surprise, this group of kids surpassed my expectations with these little treasures.

I was taught a new song during potty patrol. I was standing just outside the doorway of the bathroom, when I hear this catchy little tune, (I will gladly sing it for anyone who requests a reenactment)
"I see your hiney,
 So bright and shiny.
 You better hide it,
 Before I bite it."
I walk in and see sweet Tess, pants down, bobbing around, watching her show in the mirror that is conveniently located on the wall opposite of the toilet. Immediately, I asked her, "Tess, will you please teach me that song?!" Obviously, my wish was granted. After school that afternoon, I told Tess to tell her dad what song she taught me. She whispered what song she had sung, to which he replied, "We are famous for all the wrong reasons."

And, while that story has enough funny to stand on it's own it didn't stop there. I learned, from Ivan, that 'Silent Night' is about a flag that goes around. The girl set of twins told me that their Mom is Christmas now, or something relatively similar about their Mom now being Christmas somehow. It was on a much higher level of thinking than I'm used to. Tess has also begun to fret that Santa will not bring her anything, because her aunt gave her the Barbie that she was wanting; and even though she would like a pillow pet, Santa will not bring her one since she already got the Barbie. It is getting very dramatic! I have also heard so many references to making a Christmas list in the last 2 days, that I just quit keeping track of who said what. It will be December tomorrow. Tomorrow, and I've lost track of everyone's Christmas wishes. Ho ho ho.

Thanksgiving Feast

Happy Thanksgiving! (early)

Here are some things to get you in the mood for the holiday:

While reading a Thanksgiving story, Tess asked Mrs. Penny why the boy had polka dots on his face. He wasn't sick, he just had some freckles. ha

I asked one of the more creative minds how pumpkin pie is made. You need some sugar, carrots, salt, crust, and then mix it up. Voila! Pumpkin pie. I can almost taste it. :)

We had a black out pep rally this morning, where all the lights are out and the cheerleaders distributed glow sticks to all the kids. You would've thought it was Christmas. Shrieks of joy deafened our ears. One 1st grader behind me, blew up her glow stick from bending it too much. Glow juice was everywhere. My kids kept whacking each other in the head while cheering for the cheerleaders and football players. I had to discourage my broken-legged girl not to chew on her glow stick. She didn't think it would poison her, but then again, what do I know?

Great send off into Thanksgiving break. What a boring week a head for me...

Questions Answered

If you have ever wondered why your arm feels tired after a nap, Dr. Ivan has figured it out. It may be the result of too many doughnuts. Of course!

If you have ever wondered who can save the world, Ivan the conqueror has the solution. His Pawpaw, and Uncle Zackie have guns, so they can save the world. We are so lucky!

If you've wondered the most fun way to wake up a classroom of 3 and 4 year olds-- banging an empty coffee can drum and shaking a tambourine may be that. I was encouraged to try this method today. The result: giggles, smiles, and kids who sleep right through it. Amazing!

If you have ever wondered why the tip of a toothpick is red-ish after poking a blueberry-- it's bleeding.

Pilgrim Hats

We made pilgrim hats after rest, today. Ivan (I know) was struck by the beauty of one of the little girls, Maria. He told her she looked so pretty, and also said, "Maria, you just have to marry me.", as he followed her around the room. Upon hearing this, sweet Tess asked Karl (the one who calls me Miss Jedika) to marry her. Unfortunately, he declined her offer. "I don't want to marry you, Tess!" She took it well...she got distracted and forgot about her rejection in moments. Kids are so resilient.

As I have claimed before, the bathroom is where it is the funniest. The children involved will be remain nameless, you'll see why. When the kids woke up from rest time, one boy had had an accident, so I sent him into the bathroom to change. One little girl slipped in the bathroom to relieve herself. When I walk in the boy is pant-less, and the little girl is sitting on the toilet. Could be worse, right? I quickly block the girl from seeing "something", and get his extra clothes out...underwear first. Then I notice the small spot on the bottom of his shirt. Full wardrobe change. The boy whips his shirt off as I'm getting his pants unfolded, so he's just in his undies; the girl is ready to wash her hands but frozen on the stool, in curiosity. Standing on the stool gives her enough height to notice the pant-less boy. Thus the following question, as the boy's back is turned to her, "What is in the front?"
Boy: "Legs."
Girl: "Of your whole body..."
Boy: "Oh, you mean my race cars?" (the pattern of his underwear)
She was instructed to wash her hands the fastest she ever has in her short life, and I'm left wondering how she noticed his nudity around my body sitting on a stool, too. Tricky kids.