Welcome Back!

In my anticipation for school to start after a week long Thanksgiving break, I expected little hilarity Monday, especially on such a rainy day. Much to my surprise, this group of kids surpassed my expectations with these little treasures.

I was taught a new song during potty patrol. I was standing just outside the doorway of the bathroom, when I hear this catchy little tune, (I will gladly sing it for anyone who requests a reenactment)
"I see your hiney,
 So bright and shiny.
 You better hide it,
 Before I bite it."
I walk in and see sweet Tess, pants down, bobbing around, watching her show in the mirror that is conveniently located on the wall opposite of the toilet. Immediately, I asked her, "Tess, will you please teach me that song?!" Obviously, my wish was granted. After school that afternoon, I told Tess to tell her dad what song she taught me. She whispered what song she had sung, to which he replied, "We are famous for all the wrong reasons."

And, while that story has enough funny to stand on it's own it didn't stop there. I learned, from Ivan, that 'Silent Night' is about a flag that goes around. The girl set of twins told me that their Mom is Christmas now, or something relatively similar about their Mom now being Christmas somehow. It was on a much higher level of thinking than I'm used to. Tess has also begun to fret that Santa will not bring her anything, because her aunt gave her the Barbie that she was wanting; and even though she would like a pillow pet, Santa will not bring her one since she already got the Barbie. It is getting very dramatic! I have also heard so many references to making a Christmas list in the last 2 days, that I just quit keeping track of who said what. It will be December tomorrow. Tomorrow, and I've lost track of everyone's Christmas wishes. Ho ho ho.

Hidden Treasures

As I was rummaging through my purse this afternoon looking for my mom's key's, I found a folded post-it note with 2 funnies written on it. Happy Saturday!

Funny 1: Our bathroom is situated next to the sink/counter/cabinets/ mini-fridge in a nook to the back side of the classroom. One side of the refrigerator is adjacent to the bathroom door. While the kids wait for their turn to go to the bathroom, they have the option to play with the magnets. A magnet option is to mix and match the clothing and heads some cartoon bears. As one little girl, who is extremely dramatic, is always singing a song, or playing a make-believe game, was playing with the bear magnets. She turns to me and says, "These are naughty bear magnets. They are beary, beary naughty." And a small half smile creeps on her face. She totally knew she was making a joke. :)

Funny 2: This story involves ole Ivan. He runs up to me, panting and says, "I need a band-aid for my mouth because I blew out a stick and it's on fire now." Apparently, his stick was a torch, or candle, or firework, and he blew the fire out, therefore, his mouth was on fire. Of course, you may have a band-aid for that!

Impairments

Today, I was helping our poor, broken legged friend in the bathroom, which just means I help her balance in between pulling her pants up and down. Her bloomers got stuck on her cast because she insisted on pulling them all the way down, over her cast. (Ok, kid, do what you want.) So, being the kind teacher I am, I help her pull the bloomers up, and she exclaims, "Wait! My panties are giving me a wedgie!" (Imagine a high, little girl voice declaring her personal discomfort...)

This may not be the funniest comment that will ever be uttered in the classroom, or the most creative, what makes this more than just funny is, that one, she is a little girl. Second, I have tried the last 2 years, while working as an after school care provider at the Academy, to figure out when kids start learning about wedgies. My vast research based off of interviews I personally conducted, concluded that most kids between 3 and 5 have no clue what 'wedgies' are, and if they are familiar with the term, they don't know what it means or what action must be taken to give/have a wedgie. One child out of, at least, 60 that I interrogated knew how to explain wedgies to me, and it wasn't this little girl.

A lesson in colors

Unlike many days, today was something of a gold mine for funnies. Bodily functions are always funny. Tooting, poop, snot/boogers--the list goes on. Some of the funniest comments are made while my kids are in the bathroom. Today's bathroom comment has to rank in my top 5. Yet, before I share this priceless gem, one must understand the circumstances. To encourage the kids to pee in the toilet, and that it's "fun", we put a drop or two of food coloring in the toilet bowl. They think it's fun to mix the drop to see "what color they made". Whatever works, right? With that being said, this sweet girl posed the question: "Do I poop in colors?"